After four months and change, the light at the end of the Skyward Sword tunnel was finally in sight: We had only to defeat the demon lord Ghirahim and his evil master, the demon king Demise. We planned what we expected to be our final Sunday play date for SSHD, decided on the appropriate cocktails (naturally), and had gone so far as to ponder what we would write about post-SSHD.
We were counting our blog chickens too soon.
Friday
It all began when the Wi-Fi at Demelza’s house went out. The local cable provider had initiated a “service update,” which is code for service disruption and a lot of other things that can be described with a series of punctuation marks denoting profanity.[1]
Having the Wi-Fi go out is a problem at House of Demelza, which is situated on the outskirts of civilization where cell reception and thus cellular data service is spotty. Demelza, when she uses her cell phone, finds either the backyard or the closet in the guest bedroom offers the best reception.
It is possible, certainly, to play Nintendo without the Internet. We have done so many times. Okay, we have done so maybe twice. All right, all right, not since Ocarina of Time have we played without the Internet as our backup tool. But Demelza was confident that her trusty, hard copy guidebook would do just fine, should the WiFi fail to be restored in time for our scheduled play.
In addition to hard copy guidebooks, Demelza still has a telephone landline (no, she does not hide her savings in a mattress, shaddup), so she called the cable company to inquire about when Internet service might be restored. After suffering through multiple phone tree alternatives that seemed to focus primarily on whether she wanted to schedule a payment – and you can imagine she did NOT – Demelza began to shout “Live Person! Live Person!” over and over again until finally the phone tree advised that her call was Very Important to Us, and Someone Would be With Her Shortly.
Eventually, albeit not shortly, a Live Person answered. After some moments re-asking everything that Demelza had already provided the automated system, Live Person opined that Demelza’s modem was old and therefore had not “handled well” the service update. Harrumph! No doubt there are parallels between modems and Demelzans that can be drawn here. But we shall not draw them.
Saturday
A cable company technician was dispatched. That is, a technician was scheduled. There was no speed or actual dispatch involved. No, poor Demelza suffered through 36 hours without Internet access other than that which could be obtained by going into the backyard and holding her cell phone up to the nearest tower. Which is not very near.
But at the end of the day (which in this case was the next), Internet service was restored, and we planned our final SSHD play date. Cocktail ingredients were assembled. Snacks were purchased.
Sunday
However, at the appointed hour, Itzal arrived to much uproar. It seems Demelza’s Nintendo Switch console, wherein resided our Skyward Sword game data, would not connect to the television.
We tried a different AC adapter. We tried a different dock. We tried Itzal’s Switch console, which did connect to the television, signaling that the problem resided squarely with Demelza’s console. We tried checking Demelza’s system settings (although she avowed fiercely that she had not changed ANYTHING since we last played) (although Itzal asked repeatedly to see if her answer would change under further questioning).
All to no avail.
Wait! A shiny new, Nintendo Switch OLED console to the rescue!
Before our readers complain that this is the worst deux ex machina ever, no, it’s true, Demelza DID have an OLED model, back in the closet in the guest bedroom where she sometimes takes cell phone calls.
She was waiting until we had finished SSHD to transfer the contents of the old Switch to the new, because, while not a Luddite precisely, Demelza does not trust technology.
She worried a bit about losing SSHD data in the transfer, true, but mostly she fretted about her Animal Crossings New Horizons island. After all, she has a castle there. Or, well, she’s working on it. And as some readers may know, one cannot simply import ACNH user data from one console to another; ACNH requires a separate island transfer process.
It seems Demelza was right not to trust technology. Let us explain.
After playing BOTW the first time, we learned that one cannot start a new BOTW game with the same user name without overwriting the old. We wanted to keep our old game, in which all the armor sets were fully upgraded, all 120 shrines were finished, et cetera. Accordingly, Demelza set up a faux user, with which we played the second BOTW game. In an apparent mistake that would come to haunt us, we played Skyward Sword with the same faux user. Let’s call him Faux User or FU for short.
We might have buried the lede here, but did you know that one cannot transfer user data from one Switch console to the next unless the user in question is tied to a Nintendo account? And one cannot tie two users to the same Nintendo account? And a bunch of other malarkey?
(Malarkey ensues for the next hour, at which point Itzal warily suggests that we play with the old console propped up on a tiny table in front of the two of us. Naturally Demelza’s dog decides that this is the perfect time to be in the middle of the sofa, in manner of cat sitting on keyboard.)
We gave up, Gentle Reader.
That is, we gave up playing SSHD that day; Demelza, naturally, did not throw in the Nintendo towel. Itzal, tipsy from too many cocktails uninterrupted by too little play, went home.
Monday
First thing the next morning, Demelza ordered from Amazon a USB-C HDMI adapter as a workaround in case we ultimately were forced to use the old console to finish off Demise. Then she began the laborious process of transferring her ACNH island and its incipient castle to the new OLED console, which Itzal nicknamed the Oleg Cassini[2], and why not?
Next, Demelza established an email address for Faux User (you can’t make this up) and set up a new Nintendo account for same. But, erm, she discovered, in Live Chatting with Nintendo, that she could not transfer Faux User’s data unless Faux User also had a Nintendo Online subscription.
Demelza to Nintendo Live Chat: But this is not a real person we’re talking about. Why should I have to purchase Nintendo Online for Faux User when Faux User is not real?
Nintendo: I have submitted your feedback on the matter. But that’s all I can do on that front.
Demelza: By the way, it’s stupid, stupid, stupid that we can’t have multiple save files, or at least two, in BOTW. That’s why I have this problem in the first place.
Nintendo: I have submitted your feedback on the matter. But that’s all I can do on that front.
Harrumph, we say!
So Demelza upgraded her Nintendo Online Individual Plus Expansion Pack membership to Nintendo Family Plus Expansion Pack, and she welcomed FU into the family.
After much trepidation, she successfully transferred the original BOTW game as well as Faux User’s to the Oleg Cassini. But… her inner Luddite, which like the Grinch’s heart had grown three sizes over the past couple of days, nagged her to stop there, leave Skyward Sword on the old Switch, and take up the matter the next day. After all, we still had the workaround adapter coming from Amazon; perhaps we should not risk our SSHD data if the adapter would serve.
Tuesday
Tuesday morning, Demelza decided to go to work. That is, on Animal Crossings’ Happy Home Paradise. IRL, she’s retired, which is why she has time to chat with Live Persons and Nintendo. (Itzal, meanwhile, was slogging through work IRL and companionably hating Nintendo, Amazon, Oleg Cassini, and anything else that set Demelza off and caused her to email him reports in high dudgeon.)
Unhappily, Demelza was not able to go to her job. According to the Oleg Cassini, Demelza did not have access to the required Happy Home Paradise Planning expansion (HHPPE).
Demelza to Nintendo Live Chat: The only option I’m given is to pay $24.99 for the expansion pack! It will not let me download the HHPPE for free, even with the upgraded membership.
Nintendo: What about Faux User? Perhaps you already downloaded the expansion pack for Faux User.
Demelza (gritted teeth): Faux User is not real, @$%?!$*[3]! What about faux don’t you understand? He’s not real!!! He doesn’t build castles on an island! (Editor’s note: Demelza may not entirely understand the distinction between faux and real, as it comes to Animal Crossing.)
Nintendo: I don’t see on your account where you paid for Animal Crossing at all.
Demelza: THAT’S BECAUSE I BOUGHT THE PHYSICAL GAME, NOT DIGITAL, AND YES, I STILL HAVE A LANDLINE!!!
(Time passes, during which Demelza attempts to simmer down.)
Demelza: I have found an error code.
Nintendo (considering error code): Oh, Nintendo Online is down. So the system doesn’t recognize that you have the expansion pack membership. At this time, we have no estimate for when the situation will be resolved.
Demelza: Why didn’t you say at the outset the system was down? And by the way, it’s stupid, stupid, stupid, that one has to have a separate island transfer process for Animal Crossing!
Nintendo Live Chat: I have submitted your feedback on the matter. But that’s all I can do on that front.
Wednesday….and beyond?
And where are we now?
The HDMI USB-C adapter hasn’t arrived, because it’s being delivered by Amazon, and Amazon was having issues yesterday along with everyone else affected by the AWS outage. Thus, Demelza has yet to make a determination of whether she’ll have to attempt transfer of FU‘s SSHD data to the Oleg Cassini after all.
Today, however, Demelza was able to go to work in ACNH. For spite, she put an insect in the vacation home she’d built for Blathers. And then she retreated to her castle.
We’re planning to play on Sunday. If Demise knows what’s good for him, he’ll roll over and play dead immediately. After this horrible, no good, very bad week, Demelza is not a woman to be trifled with!
Itzal, who does know what’s good for him, remains in companionable, if silent, hiding.
[1] This is known as a grawlix, in case you’re wondering.
[2] Oleg Cassini was a Russian-born fashion designer, in case you’re wondering.
[3] A fine grawlix, Itzal notes.