Once upon a time, when Itzal and Demelza were playing Ocarina of Time, they were having a rough go of things with the Infernal Dinosaur, King Dodongo, who was himself making life miserable for the poor Gorons.
Brave Itzal-as-Link had been in Dodongo’s Cavern for some time, fending off Keese, Beamos (remember them?), Lizalfos, and Skulltulas, among other villains and nasties. And now, this stupid king of the dinosaurs was trying alternately to crush or incinerate Link. Itzal might have been a little tired or a little impatient or both. Suffice it to say, it was not a fun time. (Itzal has other descriptive phrases; email us to hear them.)
But with Demelza’s wise guidance and encouragement (also known as shouting), Itzal-as-Link persevered. The ferocious dino-beast rolled into the lava and therein expired. Itzal had defeated Dodongo! He was excited! He couldn’t wait to leave that stupid cavern.
Which he did.
Unfortunately, while virtue may be its own reward, victory is not, at least not when it involves extinguishing a fire-breathing reptile; in this case, victory (should have) included running over to grab a shiny new heart container, which was waiting to be claimed by the hero.
But the hero had already left the cavern, using the warp portal which had appeared along with the heart.
For days, nay, weeks, Demelza bemoaned the loss of the heart container, until Itzal, a master of sarcasm, said he was going to have a bumper sticker made up: I Left My Heart in the Goron Mines. He did not in fact do so, being also a master of procrastination, but the phrase became an epic refrain each time Itzal did something wrong in gameplay. (We later realized we could have returned to the dungeon, but Itzal declined to do so, coining yet another epic refrain: “Let’s keep our eye on the prize,” which he employs whenever he doesn’t want to do something that Demelza believes he certainly ought to do.)
Years later, Itzal and Demelza were playing Breath of the Wild. They were in the Myahm Agana shrine. The shrine’s trial is an irksome version of pinball, requiring the player to manipulate the Switch controller to send a rolling sphere through an airborne, tilting maze, over a ramp, and into a hole (and apparently requiring the player’s sidekick to shout “Not like that! Just drop it in the middle!”). Finally, Itzal managed the maze trick, and with a breath of relief, he raced over to retrieve the spirit orb from the monk.
Problem was, he left an unopened treasure chest in the maze.
The treasure chest contained a phrenic bow, which, Demelza had read, was a superior bow for the sort of shots needed to free the Divine Beast Vah Ruta. She became obsessed with this bow, returning to the shrine night after night to try her own luck at the maze. Eventually, she was successful. You can imagine Itzal has not heard the end of this tale, sung to the tune of “I Left My Heart in the Goron Mines.”
Nearly a year later, Itzal and Demelza are playing BOTW again, this time for purposes of a blog to showcase their now clearly impressive (cough) knowledge and skills.
Demelza, from her corner of the sofa: Remember the first time we played, and you were so happy when you finally finished this maze that you left without the phrenic bow?
Itzal, while maneuvering the controller somewhere behind his head: And you went back after it.
Demelza: I hated this maze.
Itzal: What’s not to hate? This is just stupid –
[Time passes. Gameplay ends for the day. It is now the next morning.]
Demelza, in rude 5:05 am text to Itzal: Did you remember to open the chest, or did you leave the phrenic bow again?
Itzal, in 6:49 am text response to Demelza: (ellipsis in bubble)
The point of this post, Gentle Reader, is perhaps to make Itzal feel bad, but also this: Always check seat-back pockets before leaving a given area to be sure you have all your belongings. Sure, you might be able to return for them, but who wants to do a pinball maze twice? To set a good example, we have (that is, Demelza has) decided to keep a list of things we forgot during BOTW play.
- The treasure chest with the phrenic bow in the Myahm Agana shrine.
- The treasure chest with the phrenic bow in the Myahm Agana shrine.
- The Giant Ancient Core in the Mirro Shaz shrine. (This is not entirely accurate; we didn’t forget it, we couldn’t initially get it, but Itzal – who has a touch of OCD – likes lists that have three, five, or ten entries.) (P.S. Demelza got it later.)
We’ll update the list as we go. And as we remember. The two not being entirely parallel.