After fannying about the Isle of Songs, learning this little ditty and that toe-tapping tune, Link must return to Faron Woods to begin in earnest his assigned quest for the first Sacred Flame. WARNING: This quest, and the two which follow, are about as much fun as liberating a Divine Beast in Breath of the Wild; similarly, each quest can be broken into two or more frustrating parts. That is, so we’ve been told. We, of course, danced our way through the quest in little less than half an hour and stopped by the side of the road for a snack.[1]
It’s an easy quest.[2]
We also played Pinocchio in our grade school productions of the play by that name.[3]
The quest for the sacred flame is in fact first a quest for a treasure by way of which one earns the sacred flame. Well, first it’s a bunch more fannying about and then it’s a quest for treasure to earn the flame, for which you must do still more things. It’s like having to eat one’s broccoli before the Wagyu steak and wondering if wait, there’s more, one gets steak knives with that Wagyu. One must trek about Faron Woods, then Lake Floria, meet up with – and placate – a dragon, which ain’t easy, then trek about a dungeon some more to find the flame, for which you must defeat a rather mean Boss.
We are exhausted describing it. Perhaps, then, we should begin with a cocktail.
Although we are lovers of the craft cocktail, we are not above taking shortcuts. (Hey, we are the people who use Amiibos when we play Zelda games, so clearly, we’re not above shortcuts.) In our Breath of the Wild cocktail pairing series, we crafted a delicious margarita to accompany the quest to find the maracas-shaking Hestu in the Korok Forest. So today, as we begin the slog through Part One of the quest for Farore’s Flame, and in keeping with the theme of returning to a place we’ve previously been, we offer a redux of the margarita – and because we know how difficult the day is going to be, we suggest starting early and making this simpler recipe.
[A pause for the return to Margaritaville; make a pitcher while you’re at it.]
Now, blended drink in hand, get thee back to Faron Woods. Note: It’s not as much fun this time, and the enemies are not as easy to dispatch.
If you thought the timed trials of the Lost Woods were fun, welcome to the Silent Realm. Link will find his way here by using the Goddess Harp at the Viewing Platform and thence begins a jaunty quest for fifteen Tears of Farore. Farore apparently was crying because you’ll have to start over every time some Guardians (not to be confused with BOTW Guardians, but in the same vein of nastiness) come to life and kill you when you’re not fast enough to gather up all the tears first. And you’ll have to do this while avoiding Waking Water, the latest toxic spill on the Surface. Enjoy. Bwahahaha![4]
Zelder Tip No. 1: The only place one can obtain Dusk Relics is in a Silent Realm. Dusk Relics are needed to upgrade Link’s equipment or his underwear or something.
Depressing Note: Allegedly, the Faron Woods Silent Realm is the easiest of the four, so gather up as many Dusk Relics as you can here. Wait, there’s more than one Silent Realm? Gah.
Happier Note (that is, until you’ve actually tried it): Once you clear the Silent Realm, you are rewarded with the Water Dragon’s Scale, which enables Link to swim underwater.
Theoretically. With practice. And patience. At which Itzal excels, naturally.
Silent Realm conquered, tears shed, margarita #1 drunk – uh, spilled, we’re sure – it’s time to trek your way through the woods to Lake Floria.
Oh, no, wait. Don’t. That would make perfect sense, but instead you’ll find yourself climbing the giant tree and talking to a Kiwi Fruit or whatever those little penguin-like creatures are called and trying to remember what a special and Very Important Symbol looks like and then using your sword to draw a circle on a stone wall – which is about as easy as that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when they find the Holy Grail and, remember, Sean Connery all but dies in that scene – and now we’ve forgotten what this quest was even about.
Ah, yes, it’s all about a water dragon in the bottom of Lake Floria.
No, that’s not it, we are looking for a sacred flame. Aren’t we? If we’re looking for fire, why are we meandering about lakes and other submerged areas? Why are we learning to swim and breathe underwater and why are these Froaks literally everywhere now? Can you tell how frustrated we are?
[An interlude for another margarita.]
Zelder Tip #2: This quest is so long and protracted you simply must have a guidebook or an online walkthrough, lest you forget the point. As with interactive maps and the like, find your favorite one and keep it close. Phone that friend often.
Zelder Tip #3, about which more in another post: Learn to perform the underwater leap that transports the swimming Link, dolphinlike, into the air and over barriers or onto platforms. Stop, do not pass “Go,” do not fake your way through this. Learn the spin jump leap twist turn wave hum “America the Beautiful” task. Period.
After climbing trees, inside and out, and swimming and leaping your way through more watery byways than an Esther Williams film, you enter at last the chamber where the mighty dragon awaits. Exciting! We were prepared for Farosh or even Naydra. Something grand!
Instead, we found what looks like a skinny ant sitting in a crockpot.
Complaining. Arrogantly. And did she, Faron is her name – not Farosh, oh, no, certainly not our favorite of the BOTW dragons – and not Farore, either, the named owner of the flame and the tears (seriously, who is in charge of naming things at Nintendo?) – did she hand over the Sacred Flame about which this entire quest is concerned?
No. You might just be an imposter, you see. She demands that you retrieve some Sacred Water to prove your worth. Which is a whole other day’s play and, hence, blog post.
Now about those margaritas…
[1] Lies.
[2] More lies.
[3] Still more lies.
[4] The Evil Laugh is a little known Hylian skill. It’s one of the few that Itzal had the patience to learn.