As we prepare to close the first chapter of our blog, it seems to us an excellent time to revisit how it came to be. One could click on the About Us tab on our website, ZeldaforElders.com, or we could essum up[1] for you here: It was 2020, we were in pandemic lockdown, and we did a lot of drinking and playing the Legend of Zelda BOTW, the latter mostly in tandem. In due course and under the influence (of what we won’t say, but it might have been a French 75), we said, “We oughta be in the blog business,” and, in the next breath, “and we could suggest beverage pairings, like wine and cheese tastings but with cocktails and Calamity Ganon instead.”
And so it came to pass.
Many of the cocktails we suggested to pair with BOTW adventures are likely well-known to readers: the Manhattan, Margarita, Mai Tai. But some, we hope, you enjoyed for the first time with us. Perhaps the Pisco Sour? Key Lime Pie Martini? Navy Grog?
It must be said that Itzal started this liquid adventure with far more experience than Demelza; he’s long been a fan of craft cocktails. Demelza, however, not to be outdone, did what she does best – she researched.
The Development of Demelza’s (mostly) Demise
One day, Demelza’s spouse, who prefers wine to cocktails and golf to Nintendo, embarked solo on a long weekend trip. Left to her own devices, Demelza decided to use this time to verify her research findings.
Itzal, in 5:12 pm text to Demelza: Whatcha doing?
Demelza: Researching.
Itzal: No, really.
Demelza: Okay, drinking, but purely for research purposes. I’m making up a cocktail.
(Time passes.)
Demelza in 8:22 pm tezz—um, text, to Irtk—Irtz – erm, Itzal: I did it!
Itzal: What, exactly, have you done?
Demelza: I created a new drink!
Itzal: Inconceivable.[2]
Demelza: I’m calling it Demelza’s Demise. Because the crafting of it nearly put me under. But I’m only mostly dead.[3]
Now, Itzal had to try this new drink, didn’t he? And so it happens that we were drinking Demelza’s Demises the evening that we had fun storming the castle, boys.[4]
Demelza: Here, have another.
Itzal, about to run into a Lynel: I can’t possibly have another.
Demelza: I just want you to feel like you’re doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.[5]
(Time, and yet another Demelza’s Demise, passes.)
Itzal to Calamity Ganon: Well, helllloooo, my name is Linkiyo Montoya! Prepare to die![6]
And wouldn’t you know it, Calamity Ganon and his Dark counterpart surrendered forthwith, rather like Prince Humperdinck before he realized that, had he only waited, Westley in fact lacked the strength after all.[7] And that is how a legend, Demelza’s Demise, was born.
What about Itzal, you ask? Did he leave Demelza’s challenge of the crafting of a new cocktail unanswered? Forsooth, he did not! Read on…
Itzal Mulls A Cocktail
Regular readers of this blog will be familiar with the steady drumbeat of Demelza’s shouted advice to Itzal during game play. It can now also be disclosed that Demelza has a fair amount of advice not related to game play…
Demelza: You need a cocktail of your own. I have Demelza’s Demise, you need something.
Itzal: Can’t I just look up a recipe?
Demelza: SAVE![8]
Itzal: Shouldn’t I make something up before I save?
Demelza: TAKE A SCREENSHOT![9]
Itzal: After this conversation, I’m going to need a drink with lots of booze.
Demelza: Lots of booze! All of it! Put it all in the glass!
Itzal: Itzal in the Glass, as it were. I like it!
And so, as is often the case in his dealings with Demelza, Itzal caved – threw in the bartender’s towel, if you will. And since we had, in manner of cart before horse, concocted the name of Itzal’s drink before its ingredients, the search began in earnest.
Itzal in the Glass
Not surprisingly given the drink’s name, Itzal considered just tossing a bunch of hooch from the drinks cabinet into a cocktail shaker and letting the ice chips fall where they may, but then he remembered we’re not in college these days, and we can’t drink that way. Itzal turned instead to a drink known for its multi-faceted booziness, the Long Island Iced Tea, as inspiration.
For the uninitiated or the teetotalling (why are you reading this blog exactly?), the Long Island Iced Tea has a deceptively high alcohol content. To be clear, there is no deception about the amount of alcohol included, but the drink’s taste is not dissimilar to a sweet iced tea. Five liquors go into the making, blended with sour mix and a cola drink; and if one isn’t careful, the resulting beverage is known to be a quick road to wearing a lampshade at the company holiday party. When made with cranberry juice instead of cola, the cocktail is sometimes called a Miami Iced Tea. And if one adds bourbon – yes, six liquors! – it’s a Texas Iced Tea. (Just like Texans to go one bigger.)
A standard ingredient in these teas is tequila, which Itzal enjoys on its own but opted not to include in his signature beverage because of the agave taste. In addition, sour mix, despite its name, has a lot of sugar, and since Itzal replaced tequila with the sweet Licor 43 in recognition of his Spanish Basque roots, he substituted straight lemon juice for sour mix. You can find our final recipe on the usual page.
This is a strong drink: player beware. It may or may not have instigated more than the usual amount of errors in gameplay and bickering over who forgot what in which region of Hyrule. A couple of these under your belt and you’ll be saying things like, “Link fell off that cliff because I was reaching for a potato chip.” (And worse, you’ll be convinced that you’ve offered a valid excuse.)
We considered including yet another footnote here admitting (cautioning?) that, yes, both Demelza’s Demise and Itzal in the Glass are very, umm, booze-forward. Then we decided that if you’ve tried either one or both while reading, by this point you’ll be too sozzled to find the footnote. Or to remember which footnote corresponded to which salient point above. And besides, some things are obvious. Enjoy!
[1] Loyal readers of our blog, if also cinephiles, will have noticed (and we hope, appreciated) our occasional obscure references from or to Fried Green Tomatoes, Out of Africa, Poltergeist, Ernst Lubitsch, the Wizard of Oz, Lost in Space…have we missed any in our footnote list? Oh, yes. The Princess Bride. We’ve employed more than a few mentions from that film, to be sure. Is there a quote from the Princess Bride that can’t be made applicable to some situation? It’s like the I Ching of film….no wait, that’s The Godfather, itself a reference in You’ve Got Mail.
[2] Ibid. That is, Princess Bride ibid.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Ibid.
[6] Ibid, with some tipsy poetic license.
[7] Need we say ibid?
[8] She did not, in fact, shout “SAVE” but, Lordy, it seems like she does that so much, it might have happened here.
[9] Er, whatever is the ibid equivalent of what-we-said in the previous footnote.