We unashamedly admit that, in undertaking the Champions’ Ballad, we left Urbosa’s Song for last due to our utter distaste for the Yiga Clan Hideout, which, Demelza had read (on the Internet, cough cough), would therein make its return. We loathed the Yiga Clan Hideout in our main game playthrough; we did not expect any change of heart for the DLC content.
But even we, master procrastinators, could not forestall the inevitable, if we sought to finish the ballad. And we really, really wanted the Master Cycle Zero. Thus, fresh off our victory in the Illusory Realm in dripping-wet Lanayru, and with Mipha’s Song still ringing in our ears, we set our sights on the Gerudo Desert. Upon consulting the map, we traveled to the final monument revealed in the destruction of the One-Hit Wonder, erm, Obliterator.
Demelza: You know this quest requires returning to the Yiga Clan Hideout…
Itzal: (blinks sarcastically, if one can blink in such a way)
Demelza: Before you say anything, I bought you some Ancient Arrows!
Itzal: (blinks a way that says, “Aside from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”)
Demelza: You can use as many Ancient Arrows as you want! I won’t complain.
Itzal: (blinks in a way that’s not suitable for a family-friendly blog)
Demelza: And when it’s done, Urbosa’s Fury will recharge in one-third the normal time!
(There ensues a lengthy, Internet-research-heavy explanation for poor simple Itzal, about how the prize for completing each Champion’s song quest is, as Itzal hears it, a sort of microwave oven feature that speeds the recovery of the special gifts earned upon defeat of the blights in the main game. There also follows a lengthy, expletive-heavy explanation directed at Demelza about how Itzal is ONLY IN THIS FOR THE MOTORCYCLE and, thus far, he feels cheated, even though he hardly played any of the motorcycle-perquisite Daruk’s Song or Mipha’s Song quests. There then follows a discussion of whether a daiquiri is appropriate accompaniment to Urbosa’s Song since the last time the Yiga Clan Hideout was visited, banana daiquiris were in play. )
Itzal (waves daiquiri; recipe for our Demerara version can be found here): Urbosa’s Song is a brilliant idea, and I cannot wait to continue play.
Demelza: (blinks smugly, which is absolutely a way in which one can blink)
We did not bother with careful examination and subsequent problem-solving of maps on the monument pedestals, as Demelza had done when on her own. Rather, with Itzal having the attention span of a gnat, we cheated: We looked up the three new shrine locations on the Internet. And believe it or not, we began with the Yiga Clan Hideout, in the manner of a prisoner on death row waving off dessert at his last meal in an attempt to get it all over with.
Kihiro Moh Shrine
The thrill (ha ha) of this shrine is in the do-over of the Yiga Clan Hideout. Truth be told, we don’t remember much about the shrine itself, just the run up to it. Begin by finding the back entrance of the Yiga Clan Hideout – no waltzing in the front door this time. After a bit of arguing, we located on the map what looked like a sinkhole just east of the Yiga Clan Hideout. (We knew we were looking for a hole in the ground because (a) we consulted the Internet, and (b) we remembered a big hole in the ground next to the Yiga boss when last we visited.) So, off we sashayed to the hideout’s back door.
Zelder Tip #1 – Eat a Stealthy meal before entering the hallway off the first room you enter, a room which is boring and contains little more than bananas but no banana daiquiris.
Zelder Tip #2 – Feel free to wear the headpiece and pants from the Stealth Armor set, but choose the Champion’s Tunic as shirt. Wearing the tunic shows the hovering health points of the Yiga guards, signaling their location. This fashion combo is much more useful than the paltry sneaky set bonus from wearing all three stealth pieces.
Sine Qua Non Zelder Tip #3 –Just as in the main game, don’t bother with sneaking; take along some Ancient Arrows to demolish the Yiga guards. See our complete guide to the original hideout quest here.
We found it useful to deploy Revali’s Gale to reach the second story of the room in which we’d encountered the guards – but, after a couple attempts that resulted in hitting the ceiling and getting tangled in the draperies, we learned:
Zelder Tip #4 – Back away from the tall box surrounded by jewels so you can more easily deploy Revali’s Gale and glide to the second level, the entrance to which is just above that tall box. If you stand too close to where you actually want to land, you may hit the ceiling and get disoriented.
Once on the second level, get the orb, take it outside and drop it in the sinkhole, open the shrine, and then find an Internet cheat to figure out which orbs go in which hole because otherwise this shrine will give you a headache. We don’t ourselves remember the solution, but, to prove we’d done it, we took a commemorative video, which highlights Itzal’s annoying habit of perpetually changing the camera angle.
Keive Tala Shrine
Feeling a tad letdown but still full of ourselves for having so quickly conquered the Yiga Clan Hideout, we took ourselves off to the East Barrows and defeated the Molduking – after some shouting about which pillar to stand on and how best to drop and detonate a bomb, and one or two recriminations that sounded like, “You said you liked Moldugas!” but who’s counting?
The ensuing shrine consists of two puzzles involving, not surprisingly, electricity. The first is simple – except, despite what you might read on the Internet about “striking” the glowing pedestal, which sounds as if you should swing a sword or club, you hit the switch with a big metal cube using Magnesis. Here we took another commemorative video, which, although it does not have Itzal’s trademark annoying camera change, would (rightly) lead one to believe that Itzal had had too many daiquiris at this point.
After finding some really unhelpful writing on the Internet we would like to edit, we finished the puzzle in the second room and visited the monk, who seemed decidedly less impressed with us than we were.
Takama Shiri Shrine
The Internet –yes, yes, we get that we consult the Internet frequently – rudely advises stunning a sandseal with a bomb so you can take it for a ride through glowing circles in the West Barrows. Even more rudely, after some perfunctory protest about animal cruelty, we did exactly that. Off we rode behind an abused seal, traversing the glowing circles of light dotting the desert.
And all went fine until Demelza began shouting, “TAKE A SCREENSHOT, TAKE A SCREENSHOT” and Itzal, who had been playing too much Animal Crossings and was confused about the controls, pressed the Home button instead of the, umm, whatever button, and the game froze while the screen switched to (cleverly enough) the Home screen, whereupon Itzal tossed the controller at Demelza who, unflustered, returned to the playscreen, finished the course of glowing circles with nary a bobble, and then opined, “That would have been easier if you’d simply gotten the screenshot.” Sadly, we are bereft both of screenshots and commemorative videos, Itzal having caved under pressure.
More electrical puzzles follow in the Takama Shiri shrine that appears after the circles of light race, but nothing at all terrible, if you embrace the following advice:
Zelder Tip #5 – Wear the electric rubbers armor. Then, impervious, you can sport about the cubes and walkways as they crackle with electricity and, honestly, any idiot can get through this shrine when so attired. We know. Itzal made it.