The long slog of the Champions’ Ballad – are we getting a motorcycle at some point in this game??!!! – continues after the three Gerudo shrines are solved. Once again, there is a battle in the Illusory Realm: a battle for which Link is poorly dressed and ill prepared, his weapons and foodstuffs having mostly disappeared. If this Illusory Realm is created, as we are told by Monk Maz Koshia, from Link’s memories and fears, he needs to see a therapist.
But alas, there is no time for lying about on a sofa contemplating one’s psyche. No, Link must travel to the Divine Camel, Vah Naboris, where the coming battle is all about the sizzle and crackle of thunderbolts.
Notwithstanding said shock and awe, this blight will be dismissively referenced in this post as Underbite Ganon – because Thunderblight and Underbite rhyme, and Itzal found his earlier Waterblight/WaterPik joke so funny. (Demelza’s aside: Itzal is easily amused, most particularly by himself.)
Zelder Tip #1: Once again, you’ll want to have three Urbosa’s Fury charges when you enter the Divine Beast. A full complement of Daruk’s protection and Mipha are similarly recommended. (Although we were knocked about plenty by the Grand Underbite, we didn’t fly via Revali’s Gale.) This Blight flits about the room very quickly, as is common with flitting, and magically appears just over Link’s head in a most annoying fashion. Wait for him (all Blights are masculine, right?) to blink into existence overhead, press and hold the Y button until Urbosa is really furious, then release Y and ZAP! Underbite loses a bunch of health points.
Zelder Tip #2: You have no choice of attire and your weapons and recovery foodstuffs are limited. But you can, just before beginning the brawl, consume a strategic meal or potion – Defense Up, Attack Up, or Shock Resistance. Since we were consigned to dressing as a Desert Voe (at least it wasn’t Link’s harem costume), we opted for Shock Resistance.
And Zelder Tip #3: Do not exhibit surprise when you defeat the Blight on the first try. We did. That is, we defeated the blight on the first try; we subsequently feigned nonchalance.
Indeed, on the playdate in question, in which we opened and solved shrines and tackled two blights, we found that we were repeatedly surprised by our own performance – or the apparent ease of gameplay. (Not that we’ll give credit to the the latter.)
Hey, we defeated the Waterblight, look at us! It only took two tries!
Oh my, there’s another room in this shrine? But why, when we were so clever in the last room? Yawn. Ah, well, another fifteen seconds should take care of it…
That’s all there is to the Yiga Clan Hideout? Are you kidding me? It took us three weeks in the main game!
The Blightflight
In tackling Thunderblight/Underbite Ganon, we did not, as the Internet and our guidebook suggested, execute a perfect dodge backflip or a perfect guard or a perfect anything. We are decidedly imperfect, truth be told. In addition, our trusty guide urged us to follow our backflips with flurry rushes, which sounded like an ice cream drink we would enjoy but not something we knew how to do. Indeed, as Demelza finished reading these suggestions, we looked at one another and said in unison, “Or we could just flail.” (Flailing, the practice of grabbing whatever’s handy and mashing it about, while occasionally running around in a panic, is our fallback strategy, and it rarely fails us.)
Dark Horse Books Illustrated Edition, November 2018.
Excellent book.
Terrible advice in this case for those who don’t know a backflip from a flurry..
Nor did we fight the battle with the Scimitar of the Seven, also as advised. Instead, we grabbed the ridiculously unhandy Edge of Duality with both hands and shifted from one level of the Divine Beast to the next, thrashing and smashing.
Nevertheless, we did a lot of damage as we flailed – even though, it must be admitted (because Demelza insists), we did not have all the requisite and afore-tipped Urbosa’s Fury charges at the start of the fight. After all, our first reading of the cheat guides and Internet tips said nothing about Urbosa, furious or otherwise, and instead said everything about perfect backflips, flurry rushes, and electricity.
(Another editorial aside from Demelza: The reader is right to suspect that this explanation for our reduced arsenal of Furies, offered by Itzal, is not accurate. Rather, we did not have all three charges because they had been previously squandered, and the suggestion to allow them to fully recharge before fighting the Underbite was rejected with a dismissive wave of the controller, by He Who Shall Not Be Blamed.)
And yes, Itzal rushed poor Demelza. While she was cyber-thumbing through yet another page of notes, seeking support for her contention that one should have a full set of Urbosa’s Furies before entering the arena, he zipped off to the Divine Camel and started thrashing about with that blasted two-handled sword. Without Urbosa’s Fury being fully recharged. As a result, for a while there it was looking as if Link would die for sure, necessitating a second – or dare we say, third? – round of battle.
And then, just when the end was nigh, Demelza saw that Urbosa’s Fury had finally recharged. And she shouted this news, unlike the measured tones of the desert heroine herself: “URBOSA’S FURY IS NOW READY!”
And thus the tide was turned. A few more flails with that blasted Edge of Duality, a couple Urbosa’s Furies deployed, and – GASP – our sword broke.
Did Itzal toss the controller in a snit, as he had earlier in the day during the sandseal race through rings?
Nay, he did not.
A quick switching out (or swapping out, we may have disagreed on this verb whilst Tweeting about our success) of the defunct Edge of Duality for the Scimitar of the Seven, and Underbite Ganon had snapped his last.
Eventually, that is. The lengthy demise of the blight reminded us of a scene from an old Western in which someone clutches his chest dramatically, gasps “you got me!”, then flops around on the floor once or twice more for good measure.
It was over! We had earned the Urbosa’s Fury + upgrade and were off to claim the motorcycle!!!
Or so we thought.
More than pleased with our conduct this day, we hied ourselves back to the Shrine of Resurrection, where we were told that the final battle with Monk Maz Koshia was to be preceded by a visit to a dungeon/beast/whatever that had a lot of turning cylinders and other cruel game design ideas. Disgruntled, we took the elevator to the ground floor under the Shrine of Resurrection, an area that might as well have been marked:
Sublevel 10 – Snits and High Dudgeon
Because we were in both. Read about it next time. Until then, enjoy our cocktail du jour: In recognition of a lot of electricity and uproar today, we offer our take on the sadly/badly named Porn Star Martini, which, as long as we were taking liberties with the recipe, we renamed a Passionfruit Fury. Don’t consume these like Itzal goes through Urbosa’s charges or you won’t be able to say that name quickly. Or at all.