We had a little discussion about whether to write this post, given that there’s plenty of information available on the Internet about the various horses one encounters in BOTW. We generally don’t try to gild someone else’s lily, especially when what we call gild might be likened more to rust by the original maker of the lily.
A Horse is a Horse, of Course…
What’s more, we’re not horse people. You see, we had a bad horse experience once. No, we’re not talking about IRL. (Although Itzal was raised on a farm and was once trampled by a pony, but we’re not going to bring that up just now.) We refer, instead, to Twilight Princess.
Anyone else still have that stupid wagon side quest burned in their memory? Escape to Kakariko, it might have been called … this was the challenge in which ever-helpful Link agreed to escort, on horseback, a covered wagon with, er, an ailing Zoran prince maybe, through territory inhabited by Bulblins, who look a little like Bokoblins, perhaps they’re second cousins? And the Bulblins ride nasty boar-like creatures, called Bullbos, but honestly, who cares what they’re called? Oh, wait, entire online communities of Zelda-philes do….
Anyhow, the Bulblins are intent on setting the covered wagon on fire. Oh, and just when you think it can’t get any worse, there are stupid birds that drop bombs and frighten the horses drawing the wagon. What’s more, there are gates that must be opened at the most inopportune of moments, like when the wagon is on fire! As long as Link has the presence of mind to use his boomerang to douse the flames (while riding Epona at top speed, that is, until her energy carrots run out), all is not lost, but let’s just say, when we attempted this mercy escort, all was always lost. One afternoon, we played this section of the game over and over and over, until Itzal, whose tolerance for such tasks was greater when he was younger, threw down the controller in disgust and vowed he would play no longer, and if Demelza thought SHE could do better, she was welcome to TRY.
(Time passes during which Demelza takes the controller and does indeed do better, much to everyone’s surprise, including her own and that of the Zoran prince, alleged to have survived the ordeal.)(Itzal has no memory of this event, but about that pony and the youthful trampling…)
Ergo, when it comes to horses and Zelda, we’re scarred for life, and thus we were not inclined to write this post. We tend to eschew the horses of BOTW. Most of the time, we run (don’t walk) in the direction that strikes our fancy, then activate shrines and towers as travel points along the way so we can spare our footwear in future.
My Kingdom for a Horse
But here’s what tipped the writing scales: If you want to save the kingdom and watch the credits roll after you defeat Calamity (Jane) Ganon and Dark Beast (unfair encore!) Ganon, you must be able to ride a horse. Apparently, you don’t actually have to have one at the moment of the Dark Beast battle; if you’re sans-steed, you get a default horse. But in the end, all roads lead to a horse.
And we can ride a horse, after a fashion. We did, after all, finish the game. But unlike in earlier games, like Ocarina of Time, we didn’t get all dewy-eyed when we first got Epona in BOTW. (We got her by Amiibo, by the way; she’s not otherwise obtainable in BOTW.) Neither did we high-five ourselves when we first tamed and registered a wild horse; the most animated we got was when discussing what to name our new mount (Trigger, Flicka, The Pig, et cetera).
We did spend some time finding the special horses in Hyrule, such as the Giant Horse, which we rudely named Fatty, and the White Horse, dubbed Christmas, as we completed the side quest on that holiday’s eve and the horse was, indeed, as white as snow.
Then we had an epic fight when Itzal spent 1000 rupees to wake Malanya, the Horse God, who resides in a fairy-like bud near Malanya Spring. Does Malanya otherwise act like a Great Fairy? Um, no. No armor upgrades here. But the Horse God will revive a dead horse for you, provided you’ve registered the horse at a stable before its expiration date. Have we ever once revived a dead horse in BOTW? No. Come to think of it, we’ve never had a horse die on us, perhaps because we so rarely ride them. A thousand rupees, all for naught! (Or, a thousand rupees of insurance! And because Itzal didn’t get a horse killed, he shouldn’t be faulted. I mean, he was trampled by a pony in his youth…)
Equine Edification
But we digress. What can we tell you about horses in Hyrule?
To tame a wild horse, creep up quietly until you’re near enough to get the on-screen Mount prompt; press A. Then immediately start hitting the L button to soothe the steed and bond with it. Now, the first time you mount a horse, you might be searching your controller and your memory for the right button. Thus, Demelza developed the tactic of saying La La La (to signify the L button) whenever Itzal’s horsey prowess is called for. And Itzal further honed his tactic of not hearing her.
Zelder Tip #1: Be aware that La-La-La-ing will quickly deplete stamina, and if Link runs out of energy before he and horse are bonded, he’ll be unseated forthwith. With the wildest of horses, at least three stamina wheels, actual or temporary, is advisable!
Zelder Tip #2: As Itzal is fond of saying, a newly tamed horse “steers like a pig.” The more you ride your horse, however (La-La-La’ing all the while, which produces pinkish air around the horse as the bond increases), the better the horse will steer. And, if you are on a road, you can pretty much set the horse on the path and let it steer itself. (Itzal believes this is a lie found by Demelza on the Internet; these animals steer like a pig even on the road.)
Zelder Tip #3: You don’t have to return a horse to a stable after a ride. Demelza fretted unnecessarily about this, the first time the cold-hearted Itzal left a horse out in the middle of nowhere when he’d arrived at his destination. The next time you go to a stable (any stable!), your ride will miraculously have reappeared.
Zelder Tip #4: Horses have varying strength, stamina, speed, and temperament. When you register a horse, you’ll see its “stats” as well as the percentage of bond. In addition, you can only have five registered horses at once, including Epona if you have her. Thus, choose your horses wisely.
Zelder Tip #5: Whatever you do, don’t accept any requests to escort a covered wagon through enemy territory, no matter how guilty some NPC makes you feel about a sick or injured child.