Spiral Charge obtained — by guess or by golly, by training or by cheating — Link (and thus you, Gentle Reader) must return to keeping his eye on the prize. You’re out to find the Triforce so you can help Zelda defeat Demise. (Does anyone else find it hard to remember the real task in this game? We’re not even doing most of the side quests, Itzal being both bored and antsy at the same time, and — yes — we’re old(er), thank you very much for pointing that out. Still. For a linear game, Skyward Sword sure goes awry or askew lot. It makes it hard to focus. Now, what were we saying? Oh, alright, that’s enough out of you, Gentle Reader!)
As we were saying…it’s time to get on with the business of finding the Triforce, and that begins (anew) by visiting the Great Spirit of the Skies Levias, which begins (again) by visiting the barkeep at the Lumpy Pumpkin Pub (for at least the second time).
“Who’s on first?” asks Itzal of Demelza, as Costello asked of Abbott. (Look it up, Gentle Reader! Look. It. Up.)
Where were we?
Ah, yes, the Lumpy Pumpkin.
We quite enjoyed our visit to the pub (insert joke here), despite learning that Levias has some sort of infection and hasn’t been welcoming visitors lately. This was concerning, as we needed Levias to tell us Something Very Important in order for us to continue our quest. (What quest, again? Ah, the Triforce…or maybe a Song to win the Triforce? No matter.) Everyone rallied, however, as people often do in pubs, and we were soon reunited with Skipper, who carried a very large terrine of pumpkin soup for us as we flew off into the Thunderhead — all the while fretting that if we were to save our game before starting a new adventure, as is our usual nervous practice, the cheated Spiral Charge ability would disappear.[1] Our flying, though, was much improved…
A Word About the Controls
When we began this game, we opted to use the Joy-Cons, and we even advised our readers that, once one has chosen between the Joy-Cons and the master controller, one should stick with one’s choice. We are here to say we were wrong. We found, during the Spiral Charge nonsense, that the master controller was much easier to use when flying. Much. And so, off we went, into the Thunderhead, master controller in hand.
The rainbow island in the Thunderhead sky to which we were directed by the pub owner proved to be empty. Skipper, no doubt sensing trouble, dropped off the pumpkin soup, leaving us on our own, and before we could say “We’ve made another horrible mistake” we saw soaring overhead what looked like a flying gray whale with too many tentacle eyes to be normal. Tentacle eyes, of course, grown due to a rare Hylian — or is it Hyrulean? Does the latter exist yet? Is the former even a thing? We’re often confused on this point; on many points, actually, and please don’t message us to yell about how dumb we are — at any rate, Levias has a parasite that can only be defeated with the dreaded Spiral Charge.
A Word About the Spiral Charge
Rage. Yes, Gentle Reader, that is our word about the Spiral Charge and the defeating of the tentacle eyes and the parasite-infested Levias. This word of the day is brought to you by the number three (for how many times Itzal nearly cried during the boss battle) and the letter “S” for sadistic, as in sadistic game design. Enraged, we have no tips to offer for this battle. You simply must get through it. Just know that there is a lot of flying, spiraling, dying, dodging, splattering, swearing, and then – just when you think it’s over — you realize you must land on top of the giant gray whale, which is really a lovely sky spirit with some sort of really disgusting infection, and finish off the work with a great deal of sword action.
[NOTE: Yes, you may well scoff at us now for cheating instead of practicing with Owlan and thus properly learning the Spiral Charge. If so, you’re probably the sort of person who points out when your parents put too much salt on their food, or when your significant other hasn’t been to the gym since sometime during the Clinton Administration, but then you’re probably not the sort of person who pairs cocktails with Nintendo and regularly flounces off in high dudgeon over a game’s difficulty, having forgotten how to return to a save point or what a “loading zone” is. For the rest of you Kinder Gentler Readers, however, read on.]
Another Word About the Controls
After dying one too many times and, okay, after one or two rage quits, we decided that Itzal is better with the Joy-Cons at the fine art of swordplay. But he was using the master controller, which had been better for flying. What to do? Well, finally, this late in our Nintendo careers, we learned how to do a “hot swap.” We landed atop Levias and swapped out the master controller for what we have now come to call the Joyless-Cons (see “high dudgeon,” above). Despite their joylessness, the Cons worked much better when using the sword and the ridiculous parasite was dispatched with significantly less rage on Itzal’s part.
Here then, our only Zelder Tip in this post: learn to do a hot swap between button and motion controls.
Even though the battle atop Levias was easier with the Joyless-Cons, it’s still another example of “Why are you making this game so hard, Unnamed Designer?” The parasite’s jowls grow back rather quickly after being cut off, and it’s generally not a battle we’d write a song about.
Nonetheless, when you’re done, you will be dispatched by Levias to revisit the dragons and learn a song – the Song of the Hero, we think it’s called. We can’t remember. We may have forgotten why we need the Song. And that’s because we found a delicious pumpkin spice cocktail to pair with this joyless day of battle. It’s called a Polished Princess, which would seem fitting if Zelda were a princess yet, but she’s a goddess, and her dad’s not king, he’s the head of school, and…where were we?
Regardless, you’ll find the Abbott and Costello[2] routine even funnier after a couple of these drinks.
[1] We never did save, until after the Levias quest, which caused no end of worry during said quest, but when we finally quit the game (and returned) the Spiral Charge ability was indeed gone. Fair warning, Gentle Reader! It seems to disappear after you quit, not after you save, but lots of things seem to happen in this game that turn out to be a terrible idea. We don’t know if we will need this ability again; but if we do, we are prepared to cheat it back.
[2] Who? What? I don’t know. Exactly.